haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
