Tell her she can't have a vagina
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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