My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
