all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
