sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
