Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So many bounce houses so little time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
