It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
