wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
