I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
