I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
