We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
