i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
