dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
