whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
