but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
