Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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