I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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