i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
