Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
