i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
