dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
