singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm passing your future prison.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
There's even glitter on my cock...
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