I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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