so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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