Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
