whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
