What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
