dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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