wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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