I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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