She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
