I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
