Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
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