new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
