She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
