I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
