Small penises have feelings too.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
