I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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