so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
