i permit you to call me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
