Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
