He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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