Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
