Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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