My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
