I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
