Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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