Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
