i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
