Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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