TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
